His Baby Boy
by grimmjowislife
Summary: Midtown High School, New York City. The school where the S.H.I.E.L.D superhero team, The MISFITS, go to school for their everyday lives. Matt, Peter, Harry, Frank, Elektra, MJ and Gwen. They all have a close friendship that makes their team work together smoothly. In comes Wade Wilson, Deadpool, a mercenary. Not a hero but an assassin. An assassin for hire that Peter hates. Maybe?
1. Chapter 1

_**HAHAHAHA! Couldn't help myself but to write at least one! It was killing me that I hadn't so here we goooooooo!~**_

 _ **P.S: I'll be mentioning as many Deadpool facts as I can find in every chapter!**_

 _ **Chapter 1**_

* * *

"Hey Matt! Harry, MJ, Gwen, Frank and Elektra! How was you guys' summer?" Peter said with a bright smile as he greeted his friends in their first classes of the new year of high school.

"It was awesome Pete! The guys and I were in the Bahamas! The resort was great and the girls were fucking gorgeous! Seriously you should've come with us!" Harry told his best friend with bright enthusiasm.

Peter smiled politely at his extremely wealthy friend as he took his usual seat beside the window, in front of Matt but with an empty seat on his right. Nobody really ever seats beside Peter.

"I can't really afford it plus who's gonna be Aunt May's company? You know I can't leave her on her own." Peter told him, hiding the pain of remembering the death of his Uncle Ben just a year ago.

Harry's enthusiasm died down quickly as he felt bad for Peter. "Right. My bad Pete." Harry said scratching the back of his head because he felt like a jerk for inadvertently making his friend remember such an awful event.

"It's okay. So guys? Excited for the year? After this it's just one more year till college!" Peter said with excitement, changing the subject so as not to bum his friends out.

Matt smiled at his friend. "I personally can't wait. Studying law is my main goal. Going to a few college parties is just an added bonus. Don't you agree Frank?" Matt said with a smirk on his face as he teased his childhood friend who just clicked his  
tongue at him in response for disturbing his personal bubble.

Harry laughed and sat on Matt's table. "I don't get you sometimes man! I mean you're blind yet you come to a regular school, pass tests easily and party like you can see perfectly fine. Be honest, the whole blind thing is so you can pick up girls isn't  
it?" He asked trying to get the red tinted glasses off Matt's eyes.

Matt laughed as he took off his glasses, revealing his unseeing eyes, "I seriously can't see Harry. Not with my eyes anyways."

Harry groaned loudly. "That doesn't even really make any sense!" The group of friends laughed at Harry's frustration, except Frank who just smiled silently at the idiots he hung out with.

"You boys are always so interesting to be around." Elektra chuckled in her Greek accent. Peter noticed that she had only been staring at Matt since he got to their little group in the corner of their class but decided not to bring it up.

"Hah! Ain't that the understatement of the century." Gwen laughed loudly, her beautiful blonde hair moving with her. MJ looked at her girlfriend with happiness in her eyes. Peter thought it was cute.

"Hmm." Matt hummed thoughtfully, bringing everyone's attention to their blind friend.

"What is it Matt?" Peter asked as he pushed up his glasses.

"Oh I'm just wondering if there's gonna be anything new this year..." Matt said carefully though Elektra noticed that Matt was leaving something out.

"No way! This is like the most boring high school in New York City! Nothing _ever_ happens here." Harry snorted as he got off Matt's desk to take his seat behind him.

"Never know...another thing. I'm hearing a completely new heartbeat. It's headed for our class." Matt muttered as he tried concentrating at the new sound.

"It's probably a freshman Matt. They're new kids so what's the big deal?" MJ said, none of the friends even surprised at their friend's heightened senses. It was something they figured out a long time ago.

"No. I can hear and even smell all the freshmen. They're all in class and the hallways were clear for a long while before I heard this one. It's close to our class and...he's with our home room teacher." Matt muttered as he was finally able to get the  
voice of the new person.

"Huh. A new kid. The only new kids we ever got were freshmen. What can you tell about him Matt?" Elektra asked, everyone in the group going into defense mode.

They were the best of friends but they were also a team. A team of teenage superheroes for that matter.

Matt Murdock. Blinded at the age of 12 by trying to save a blind man from an incoming truck. Things went wrong and the radioactive waves of the truck spilled all over him, rendering him blind but enhancing his other sense above human levels. After that,  
he was trained under the martial arts expert known as Stick, helping him improve with his new senses and giving him skills that aid him in combat. He is known as the devil of Hell'a Kitchen; Daredevil.

Elektra Natchios. Former daughter of a Greek Ambassador who was accidentally shot by a dirty cop who thought he was a terrorist. She was also trained by Stick when she was in Japan for reasons nobody knows. Elektra's main code is if you're innocent then  
you deserve to live. Her idol would be none other than Black Widow.

Harry Osborne. Kid Green Goblin. At first, when Harry thought his father was dead, he went on a Green Goblin rampage but that had calmed down when his father had come back but it had torn his heart when he found out his father was the actual Goblin that  
had killed and caused havoc around New York. He joined their little group of teenage heroes when he realized this, so as he could be the one to bring his father down. He's also the young owner of Osborne Corp.

Mary Jane Watson a.k.a MJ. She's a regular person except she's an up and coming teen model as well as a trainee agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Her conections with the famous crowd aids the group in many situations. Her aliases being Red Sage.

Frank Castle. The Punisher. Age seventeen and known as the deadliest soldier on the planet, Captain America not counting. He was trained as a prospect for the creation of another Captain America since he was nine years old. He didn't care how much suffering  
and pain he went through, as long as his mum, sister and brother were safe as the government promised they would be but...things went wrong. He had killed. He killed like it was somethings natural, as natural as waking up in the morning. From the  
age of nine to the age of sixteen he had killed more men than any soldier in America had been capable of doing in history. Just last year he was finally allowed to go home. Frank was so happy. His mum had cried for hours and they all decided to go  
out to celebrate. They were all having fun then out of nowhere a gang war happened. His entire family was killed and he was shot right through his head. He should be dead but Frank just didn't want to die. He went on a killing spree in New York, killing  
every gang member involved with the death of his family, with no remorse, with no empathy for he truly believed scum should be put down not locked away only for them to be set free again. He would've killed so many people if Matt hadn't intervened  
time and time again. Hence bring him to S.H.I.E.L.D which brought him to their little group.

Gwen Stacy a.k.a Motherboard **(No body judge! It was like 4am when I wrote this and o couldn't think of a better name so hush!).** Gwen is the brains of their team. Sure they're all intelligent in their own expertise but Gwen knows her computers.  
She can hack through any computer or satellite on the planet, except Tony Stark's but he's got subhuman brains so it doesn't count. She's also a S.H.I.E.L.D trainee that has the gymnast's skills of an Olympic athlete.

Peter Benjamin Parker. Sixteen years old and is considered the smartest kid in Midtown High. He's also a bit of a nerd. His regular bully, Flash Thompson, had repeatedly nicknamed him as Puny Parker though he filled out more since freshman year the nickname  
still stuck. His parents had died in a plane crash when he was very young and he was taken in by his Aunt May and Uncle Ben but his Uncle Ben had been shot two years ago. He blamed himself almost everyday because the killer was someone he could've  
stopped before his Uncle had been taken from him. His uncle did leave him with very wise words, 'With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility.' Words he lives by everyday by helping people. Helping people by being the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

They were a team. A team that works under the government group known as S.H.I.E.L.D. They were given their group name jokingly by Hawkeye. The MISFITS.

"I...I can't...I can't get anything. He's talking under his breath rapidly. Really fast. His heartbeat keeps changing randomly...Ugh." Matt groaned as he clutched his head. The new person was messing with his senses. It was like they had the mannerisms  
of a lunatic.

"Hey. Cut it out." Frank growled at his friend in annoyance but then he placed a gentle palm on the blind boy's head in a way to calm him and it did slightly. Matt sent him a thankful smile which Frank only nodded to.

"If this guy is messing with Matt's senses on purpose does that mean there's someone coming for us?" Gwen asked as she rapidly typed on her own standard phone, hacking into security cameras discretely as she rested her head on MJ's shoulder casually.  
The entire team acting casual as they easily planned ahead of a conflict.

Before their opinions could all be heard the teacher came in, a tall and well built boy with his face and head covered by a cap, a hoodie and sunglasses walking in behind him.

"Settle down class...Hey I said settle the fuck down!" Their home room teacher, Mrs. Donald, a hot-tempered old woman with the vocabulary of a sailor, yelled at them making everyone sit down in their respective seats in silence.

The class couldn't hear it but Frank, Elektra, Matt and Peter could easily hear the new kid snickering under his breath.

"Welcome back you fucking brats. We've got a new kid. State your name and stuff about yourself then take your seat beside Parker, the kid with the glasses too big for his face. And Parker you're his escort. No complaints. Ask the Prinicipal of you got  
a problem with it." She said quickly before slumping her slightly large form on her chair, ignoring the class.

"Coulson sent the kid? New teammate?" Gwen muttered into their secret earpieces.

"Noooo! Our team's amazing on its own." Harry whined under his breath making the others roll their eyes fondly.

"I don't know guys. He might be a cool guy." Peter muttered to his friends as he took in the physique of his possible new teammate.

The team could hear Frank's scoff and they all simultaneously turned to look at their usually quiet teammate. "Peter just likes the guy's body." Frank mumbled with a roll of the eyes. His team laughed into their hands as Peter flushed as he looked at  
his feet.

Oh Peter's bisexual just in case anyone wanted to know.

"I'm Wade Wilson. Not Slade. Wade. Too many people comparing us. I'm Canadian Aye? No? Okay. Golden girls rule. Oh and ladies? Nice boobs." Wade told the class giving the girls a double thumbs up. Usually the girls in the class would've slapped any guy  
that said that but the way Wade said it pretty much just got a bunch of giggles.

"Well...that was unexpected." Elektra commented, highly amused.

"Another class clown. Great. Peter raise your hand." Mrs. Donald's growled bitterly before leaning back in her chair and pulling out a magazine.

Peter shyly did as ordered, raising his hand so the well built teenager in a bright red hoodie, black jeans, black SnapBack and...Spider-Man(?) sneakers could find his seat.

Wade saw him and smiled under his mask brightly. Even with the sunglasses, Peter could feel when their eyes met for something happened with him. His heart started beating really fast. Matt heard and noticed the small interaction thus prompting him to  
watch (HAH!) the two.

Wade practically skipped to his seat, once seated the entire class went back to their previous conversations. Though they're eyes would inadvertently turn towards the new student that his his face perfectly.

Wade turned to the team that were staring at him curiously. "Hmm you guys sure look different when you were so young." Wade said suddenly making the team look at him confused.

"Uh...what?" MJ said stupidly.

Wade grinned widely. "Nothing my lovely bombshell!~" Wade said sweetly not even trying to hide the fact that he was looking at MJ's boobs with interest.

For what seemed like the first time, MJ blushed. Gwen actually glared and Harry looked at Wade like he was a god.

"Who are you exactly?" Frank asked the question they all wanted to.

"Wade Wilson. Seventeen year old Canadian. Hold it on the hockey jokes. A lot older than this in my comics but the writer of this odd fanfiction decided to go with this but whatever." Wade said with a shrug, but when he processed what he had said he felt  
stupid. _Great! Now they'll think I'm crazy._

 _[But you are crazy...Duh.]_

 _They don't need to know that!_

"Are you insane?" Matt just had to ask. The way the talkative guy acted just made him think crazy.

"Hmm? I guess you could say that. It depends on what your concept of crazy is. I mean in society's terms I'm a fucking psycho but who give a shit? Sane people are boring." Wade said with a boyish grin that the others could only guess he had on.

"I hear that." Frank surprised them with the comment. Matt turned to him with a confused expression in which his only response was a shrug the other sensed.

"Uh so why don't I introduce you to the guys? Get you more comfortable in school and all." Peter said trying to come off as confident at the same time trying to gauge out a real answer from the guy on who he was.

"I'm Pet-"

"Oh no need. I know who you guys are." Wade said with a shrug while the others stared at him with wide eyes.

"H-how?" Gwen stuttered, her trigger finger twitching.

"Hmm. Cause I'm your new teammate. MISFITS? Really writer? **(Shut up!)** Whatever. So yeah. New member. Orders from The Spy. Nick in case you couldn't tell. 007 King. Inventor of Pink Panther...Jack Sparrow!" Wade said loudly getting them  
more attention than needed which stopped when Frank glared at the nosy students.

"I don't even know what you're talking about!" Harry said with irritation evident on his face. The guy's annoying voice was getting on his nerves.

"Le gasp! You pop culture hater!" Wade yelled as he dramatically fell off his chair, the girls laughing at his antics while the guys felt their irritation going to new heights, except Peter who was just thinking and Frank who generally didn't care as  
long as the new guy didn't stop him from kicking ass.

"Who are you? A serious answer this time." Peter asked suddenly, his expression turned serious as he tried getting a better look of the guy that would soon enter his team. The guy that wouldn't even trust them with his face.

"Ooo!~ I love it when you get serious with me baby boy!" Wade teased as he placed a gloved finger on Peter's lips, suddenly too close. Peter was too flustered to take a peek under Wade's hoodie.

"Wha-exc-cuse..." Peter stammered in embarrassment making Wade want to coo at how cute he was but then spoke up loud enough for only the group to hear.

"I'm Deadpool. Hold the applause."

The entire team stared at the kid with wide eyes, even Frank. They have all heard about the infamous 'Merc With The Mouth'. His abilities, his powers and his almost immortality.

They also know about his morals. He kills bad guys which isn't a problem with Frank but it's the reason that even pisses him off. He kills for money. They've even heard how torturous he can be about it if he's pissed.

Deadpool's ranked fifth in one of the most dangerous people on the planet because he can't be killed. He's a lunatic. A skilled lunatic that was able to go one on one with a rampaging Hulk and live.

Almost as soon as Peter met him.

 _No writer! Don't you fucking do it! I thought you loved your Deadpool!? Don't you love me no more?! Don't take my baby boy from meeeeeee! Don't you do this to m-_

Peter hated him.

 _...Burn in hell bitch._

* * *

 ** _So here's my attempt in a spideypool fic!_**

 ** _What do you think so far? Please review your opinions. This is just practice. I wanna dabble in writing some action scenes. So if things turn awful don't hate me!_**

 ** _Please review what you think and let me know why I should change! Oh and suggestions for how this story should go would actually be appreciated! Honestly after this chapter I might be slightly lost._**

 ** _Deadpool Fact #1: Deadpool's biggest fear is cows. Those guys scare the shit out of him._**

 ** _Ciao from,_**

 ** _Grimmjowislife._**


	2. Chapter 2

_**HAHAHHAHAHAHA! Yes I like to laugh randomly! I do it on the bus all the time! Giving old ladies heart attacks!**_

 _ **Chapter 2**_

* * *

"Explain." Peter said calmly as they all filed into the Principal's soundproof office. There sitting behind his desk was their Principal slash handler, Agent Phil Coulson, and he was not in the best of moods.

"Don't just come in my office and demand things from me." Coulson said calmly but his scowl displayed how pleased he was with the teens barging in on him. He wasn't.

"We apologize for our behavior. See? We said sorry. Now explain to us why _...that_ is telling us that he's our new team member? He's a mercenary! He kills for something as petty as money!" Elektra snarled with bite in her words. She hated this. She hated being around someone that kills and enjoys it, it brings back painful memories.

"Awh!~ And I thought we could all be friends!~" Wade whined childishly as he walked happily to stand beside Elektra who looked at his disguised self in disgust. Wade's smile didn't even falter for he was used to such treatment. That didn't mean he was going to be nice about it.

"You seemed to enjoy killing for sport without even getting paid. I only kill the bad guys and I get paid for it. What about the time you killed that little girl in Thailand? How'd that work out for ya?~" Deadpool said all this in such a calm and happy voice that most people would think he was talking to his best friend.

Everyone in the room stared at Deadpool with obvious shock in their eyes. Elektra though was looking at him with murderous intent. She made to grab his neck and strangle him but before she even raised her hands, Deadpool was beside Coulson with an air of superiority with the way he was standing.

"Touchy subject?~" He asked cutely with a tilt of his head, trying to go for innocent.

"I'LL KILL HIM!" Elektra yelled, completely out of character but Deadpool had mentioned one of her most common nightmares so casually in front of the team and it enraged her beyond usual level of temperament.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! Why would anyone mention stuff like that to someone?!" Harry yelled at the disguised teenage with open rage.

"Hmm. Never thought you could be a hypocrite. Gotta add that to the scrapbook. It's a simple fact kiddies. Elektra here is a stone cold killer just one that's gone cold turkey. Punisher too though I respect the guy more because he only killed the bad guys. She killed to enhance her skills. She killed whoever she was told to. Good or bad. She killed for the enjoyment of it. For the sport. Just cause you knew her longer suddenly makes her better than me? Oh no my little Bradie Bunch! In standards of society I'm ten times better than miss Portable Double Tridents. Now could we get to the reason why you all barged in here like Paris Hilton was making a sex tape in here?" Deadpool asked with a stance that actually looked kinda serious.

"Who?" Frank asked looking at Deadpool with a confused expression.

Deadpool sighed, sounding exasperated. "Sorry. Forgot it was a wrong timeline." This didn't get rid of the confused expressions. Hell it made them worse.

"Deadpool a.k.a Wade Winston Wilson, is your new team mate. Spider-man you are in charge of him. Fury was finally able to make him agree to join our future Avengers Program so we snagged him before he decided to change his fickle mind. Show him the ropes. Also Fury brought him in to do the jobs that all of you wouldn't do considering he's okay with anything, everything and he can't die, as far as we know." Coulson explained without missing a beat.

Peter glared at Coulson in anger. "Ooo!~ You got the nasty glare Super Nanny." Wade teased his new handler but then he quickly looked at the ceiling when Peter sent his sexy brown eyed glare his way.

 _I. Want. Him. In. Me._

 _[Too much dude. Too much.]_

 ** _[GET THAT ASS AMIGO! GET. THAT. ASS]_**

 _White box. You my main homie._

"Coulson. You mean he'll be killing your targets off?" Peter asked not liking the sound of this. If he was going to be in charge of his team then he would have to be watching over his new teammate as well. Wade...was annoying but he did have a point. They had easily brought in Elektra and Frank even though they were killers themselves, killers that went off the deep end, so it wouldn't be fair if they didn't even give Wade a chance himself. To do that he wants to show Wade that he could also help people without wasting lives with a head shot.

"Spidey noooo!~ Don't say the K word! It's nicer when you say unalive." Wade said as he walked towards Peter and stood in front of him. Peter wrinkled his nose when he got a whiff of the other's breath. It smelt like nachos and cheese.

"Deadpool had already agreed to the arrangements so he is okay with it." Coulson explained, already feeling most of his energy decrease. After this he still needs to attend to the current Avengers. Tony Stark would be the death of him. He could actually see it. One of his machines standing in front of him and exploding. It nearly happened once but Steve had saved his Agent ass.

"My team members don't kill Coulson. You know that." Peter told the other with a determined expression that made Wade swoon.

"Wade's partly a member of your team. Like a consultant considering he's been in the field a lot longer than most of you save Frank. I just need him to be around you so that you all can work as a team. He's an asset to S.H.I.E.L.D. A valuable one so I need him to know and follow procedures as well as understand teamwork. Now if that is all could you all get out of my office and get to class?" Coulson asked (ordered) gesturing for the door.

They all left one by one, albeit reluctantly, except for Wade and Peter.

Wade was humming 'Let It Go' to himself as Peter and Coulson tried staring each other down.

"Mr. Parker the terms for Wade have been negotiated and agreed upon before he got here. If the Director wants him to...take someone out then it'd be nothing more than an order. We do what we have to do for the greater good of this country and the world." Coulson tried explaining but his eyebrow twitched when Wade snorted loudly.

"Where did you get that one from? The back of a cereal box? Oh or did you write it down and practice in front of a mirror?~" he teased lightly and beamed when he noticed how Peter's lip twitched slightly.

"Just tell him as it is will ya super nanny? You guys want someone dead, threat or likely to be future threat, you send in the guy that obviously can't die to do it. Oh and here's the part you didn't tell the other spice girls, the lucky killing machine gets paid for every guy he successfully unalives." Deadpool explained with an actual twirl. He was just bored and he had nothing else to do so why not just twirl?

 _Author, I'm crazy, not that crazy. I don't just twirl, back flips are also expected._

 **Shut it Wade.**

 _Rude._

"So you're paying him as well?! Coulson this isn't the moral or legal way to do thin-"

"That's where I gotta stop ya baby boy." Wade interrupted, his happy tone from before turned low and serious.

"Moral? Legal?! HAH! Are ya serious? There are still guys like you around? Here's a lesson for ya Spidey, the bad guys? They wouldn't think twice about mounting your heads on a stick in front of their super bad evil lairs for kicks. From the way I see it, it's kill or be killed." Wade explained, sounding both serious and ridiculous at the same time.

"That's what separates the good from the bad! We shouldn't stoop to their level and kill them. They're still people." Peter told Wade, not liking the way the assassin thought. In his point of view, Wade had seen and experienced probably more hardships than all of his team mates combined, including Elektra and Frank and it would have affected him immensely. Explains the crazy way he spoke.

"Oh you really believe that don't ya sweet cheeks? Good guys. Heroes. So predictable." Wade joked, going back to his silly but adorable self and chuckling when Peter blushed at being called sweet cheeks and found it sexy when he did that with an angry glare on his face.

"If you're both done with your odd form of teenage flirtation, could you please get out of my office and save me from further migraines?" Coulson all but begged.

Peter's face took an interesting shade of pink after that. "W-we weren't...I mean oomph!"

"C'mon baby boy, super nanny looks like he's gonna explode!" Wade giggled as he hoisted Peter over his shoulder and ran out of the Principal's office, his giggles still ringing in Coulson's ears and driving him insane little by little. He couldn't even be bothered to care about how distressed Parker sounded.

"I need to apply for a new job."

* * *

"Okay. New team. Kinda nervous. Always been a shy guy. Not doing this right am I? Okay, here it goes. I'm Chimichangas and I like Deadpool. Wait that came out wrong." Wade said making a confused expression under the over-sized hoodie he hides in. Next thing he knows Frank had hit him on the head in a very friendly way, if one doesn't count the small concussion.

"We've already met." Frank said, well grunted, before taking another bite of his meatball sandwich that Matt had helped him make. Matt always did make the best meatball sandwiches in all of New York.

"Wow Frankie!~ You've gotten stronger! You actually gave me a concussion this time. When we were younger all you could do with your hits was give me a bruise that'd last for weeks." Deadpool teased as he poked Frank's full cheeks, an air of laughter in his voice, like he wasn't talking about an illegal training slash experiment camp for young children.

They were having lunch in the school cafeteria in their usual table beside the revolving doors to the back of the school but asides from Frank and Wade, the rest of the table was tense. They had no idea how to deal with the new addition to their group, they had no history with him.

Peter at least was very close friends with Gwen, Harry and Mary-Jane. Matt, who was also a friend of Peter's, knew Elektra and Frank like the back of his hand. Wade though? Frank only remembers him as the annoying kid with swords in an illegal camp. Not much to go from there so they weren't sure if they could even trust him.

"So...Wade. Why are you hiding your face?" Gwen asked him, her gentle voice would make anyone think she was an angel.

Deadpool got quiet all of a sudden. He didn't answer but he did pick up his lunch of tacos and eat without saying another word.

Frank gave them a look that meant they should drop it. Peter frowned at that thinking that okay maybe Frank did know the guy more than he had let on.

"What's your problem? We're a team now so we're not supposed to have secrets. Makes it hard to trust you so just tell us." Harry hadn't looked up at Frank so he obviously couldn't get a clue. He glared at Wade's silent figure and had the urge to just punch the guy because he was ignoring him.

Wade suddenly got up, grabbed his backpack and walked out of the cafeteria with his hands in his pockets. All of them still unable to catch a glimpse of Wade's face.

"What's his problem?!" Harry seethed, ready to get up and strangle the bastard but Peter held him down. He turned to yell at Peter but stopped when he noticed his best friend's detective like look.

"Frank. What's wrong with Wade?" Peter asked the usually stoic man who just looked at him with an unimpressed expression.

"Not my place to tell. Out of all us, those guys really fucked him up the most." Gwen winced at the use of such bad language while the others' curiosities grew.

"Is he like scarred? So what? We all have ugly scars." Mary-Jane scoffed as she finished off her yogurt drink.

Frank shook his head at that. "Scars...seem almost too light of a word for what he's got. Peter you should go get him down from the roof. He goes to high places when he's moody." Frank told Peter before letting out a loud burp that caused more than a little stares of disgust. Matt swatted his arm at the rude sound making Frank's lips twitch slightly.

"Okay...Not weird at all." Peter mumbled before he did as Frank suggested. He went to the back of the school, where he knew no one would go to during lunch, and used his powers to quickly crawl up the roof. Just in case he was seen.

He stood on top of the roof, a lot of wind making his already messy hair get even messier, and pointed out Wade sitting at the edge with his legs swinging back and forth and...arguing...with himself?

"Shut up!Shut up!Shut up! You are being more retarded than usual Yellow box." Wade yelled, his strange voice sounding more than a little menacing when angry.

 _[WHAT?! I AM THE ONLY REASONABLE PERSON HERE!]_

 ** _[Technically...neither of us are people and I agree with the bloody scarecrow. YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND! WHAT IN THE HOLY SEXY PANTS OF THOR WERE YOU THINKING?!]_**

 _[HE SHOULD JUST GET IT OVER WITH AND LET THEM SEE HIS FACE! IT IS SO NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL!]_

"NOT FUCKING HAPPENING SO BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I MENTALLY STRANGLE YOU! NOBODY AND I MEAN FUCKING NOBODY IS SEEING MY FUCKING FACE!" Peter was startled by how angry Wade sounded and ended up interrupting his...argument(?) with the strangled sound he had made.

Next thing Peter knew, he was on his back, a pair of fit and strong legs around on each side of his hips and two metal guns pointed at his head. He felt the need to piss himself and blush at the exact same time and it was messing with his mind.

Wade blinked in surprise, finally noticing that it wasn't an enemy but his baby boy. "Spidey!~ Whatcha doing out here all by your lonesome?" Wade asked in his usual goofy way. Nothing like the ferocious and bone chilling tone he had used when yelling at invisible people.

Peter gulped, some kind of painful understanding setting in. Just by Deadpool moving faster than even his spidey senses could pick let him know that the teenager was probably stronger than him in the sense that he could easily kill Peter. It was a morbid thought and image but it just sprung into his mind.

He was too busy thinking and getting out of his shock to look up and catch the small glimpse of Deadpool's face that was out of the large hoodie but Wade noticed and quickly adjusted it.

"...A-are you okay?" Peter finally asked a bit shaky. His blush had gone down but he wondered why Wade wasn't getting off him. The guy even got comfortable, leaning back and sitting... directly on Peter's crotch. Yeah, the blush was back and with a vengeance.

Wade chuckled at how adorable Spidey looked under him and blushing like a virgin. His grin widened when the younger boy's words finally reached his bliss filled mind. _Awwww!~ He cares!_

"Doing finger licking good. I've got the best seat in the whole damn world!~" Wade exclaimed with a bubbly giggle coming out of his lips, he laughed like a truly mad person when Peter looked like he was choking on his spit.

"Uh uhm yes. Okay. Yeah. Get off." Peter ordered after catching himself. Wade did as he was told but was still highly amused. Peter just felt even more apprehension at how fast the mercenary could change his emotions. One minute he seemed to be pissed beyond return and next thing he knew the crazy guy was giggling like a school girl with a secret.

Wade was suddenly happy but it wasn't his fault. His idol and reason for getting out (well mostly) of the assassin life was right in front of him. He had seen and heard what the adorable brunette had been doing since he got his powers and his uncle died and Wade was just so...so inspired, star struck, got the fucking Bieber disease except it was Spiderman. He would even go as far as to say he had a bit of a fan boy crush on the guy but he thought it'd be really smart of him to keep that to himself.

Peter stared, trying to get some kind of read from the strange man that hid his face expertly well even if the sun shined on them. He would seem like an absolute moron, crazy and mad but a moron nonetheless but then Peter had witnessed firsthand that Wade's a very terrifyingly menacing man with a lot of deadly skills and it just rubbed him the wrong way that he was faster than his spidey senses. Yet there he stood, and Peter could practically feel the happiness radiating off him. Other than that, nothing. He couldn't get anything else. Not even an idea on what movement he would be making next. It was just so ridiculously unnerving being around someone that could kill him, hide the evidence and burn his body with not a soul being able to guess that he did it.

"No need to worry about anything baby boy. Would never dream of hurting your pretty ass.~' _Oops. So much for not letting my attraction show._

"Don't call me that." Peter said with a small glare. He knew it wasn't exactly nice to think the way he did but something about Wade was just so annoying. Was it his voice? The way he acted? How crazy he seemed? Maybe his past or his skills being netter than Peter's? He didn't know, all e knew was Wade's probably the one person that he found to be obnoxiously annoying. Besides Flash Thompson of course.

"Hey...the whole showing your face thing. Did something happen?" Peter asked curiously. The way the other left so abruptly meant it was personal and he felt insecure about it but Peter just asked so e could tell the others to never bring it up again.

Wade only giggled again before turning and sitting back on the edge of the roof, not feeling the usual self loathing he did for that brief moment with Peter around, letting him know that he would probably force the other to be around him more. He didn't even care that Peter had asked him about his face because the other was giving him attention and it wasn't like he was going to answer that question anyways. He didn't need his baby boy thinking he was some monster.

Peter sighed, knowing that e wasn't going to get an answer and feeling like an old man with how fast he had gotten tired from just one stressful day. He took a seat beside the loud mouthed teenager who started radiating sunshine immediately he did. _What the hell is wrong with him? All I did was sit down and he's acting like he entered a chocolate factory and I have no idea what else to say._

They sat in silence for a long time. Peter was wondering why he didn't say anything and he found it strangely weird that Deadpool hadn't said anything. He also wondered why he didn't just leave. He needed to get back to his team and friends not babysit a newbie.

The bell rang and he got up, feeling strange that he had found the presence of Wade's and the silence as comforting but then shrugged it off. He was at the door to the exit when Wade spoke.

"Hey. Thanks." Wade turned to give him a small smile the other couldn't see but it was there in his voice. He chuckled to himself when he noticed the slight confusion in Peter's doe brown eyes but he didn't bother to elaborate. He knew the other probably didn't want to be there to make him feel better. They weren't even really friends yet but he did anyways and that's actually the most a human had done for him in a long time and he was grateful.

Peter had no idea what he was being thanked for and just put it in the box of things labelled 'Proof that Wade's Off His Rocker.' He did give the other a small but confused smile to just be polite.

"Uh. No problem I guess. Don't be late to class." Peter informed him before leaving.

Wade sighed wistfully before laying flat on the floor of the roof, his hidden cheeks with covered suddenly red in color. He couldn't help but blush when he had been graced with a smile from the adorable brunette who was also his super star idol crush.

"I'm so gonna fuck this up." Wade laughed to himself, his voice going a higher than his usual octave.

 _I'm...seriously going to fuck this up. I know that because I really don't want to._

* * *

 ** _Deadpool Fact #2: At the risk of being rude, Deadpool would shoot himself in the middle of a boring conversation._**

 ** _God almighty I love him._**

 ** _Ciao from,_**

 ** _Grimmjowislife._**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hola!**_

 _ **3!**_

* * *

"That's enough!" They all stopped at the same time as the training bots shut off at the sound of their kind of boss, Nick Fury's voice.

They all stood at attention, except for Peter who was hanging upside down using his webs, waiting for whatever it was Fury was about to tell them. They had come to the helicarrier for their daily training, well except for Wade who had been called out of school two classes before the end of school. They all wondered where he had been called to but decided not to think about it. The guy would probably show up eventually.

"There you are! Now tell us! What's this new teammate bullshit Fury?!" Harry didn't waste time as he got off his hover board and removed his Goblin mask and purple hood. He marched towards Nick Fury but was stopped by Frank who had placed his palm on the shorter boy's head.

"Oh. You met Wade." Nick said casually, his god of all poker faces revealing absolutely nothing.

"Of course we met him and you know that! Why Fury? Our team's pretty strong already!' Mary Jane complained. She was absolutely done! She had been in most of the chatterbox's classes and had to endure round after round of mindless chattering that was driving her insane.

"That's true. You're each very strong. Stronger together even." The compliment threw Peter off. Fury wasn't really the one to dish out compliments like that so he braced himself for the oncoming onslaught of traumatic insults that would be coming after.

"Strong to even fight and defeat someone as powerful as the Goblin. Yet Wade could kill each and every one of you in a matter of minutes." The images those words put in their heads made every one of them cringe except for Frank who glared, obviously feeling insulted.

Fury sighed, wondering where his career was going if he was busy babysitting some super-powered hormone bags, a.k.a teenagers.

"He's a trained assassin. Trained since he was a child just like Frank except they didn't stop with Wade like they had done with Frank and the other kids. His healing abilities are even above Wolverine's, his head could even be reattached after decapitation, he can rapidly regenerate new organs , his speed is unheard off, his accuracy a hundred percent, he's especially skilled with his trademark weapons; his katanas and it is hypothesized that he could be immortal but that's up for debate. The man is literally the perfect soldier...if only he'd shut up for five minutes. None of you could defeat him as you are." Peter was both uneasy and awed. With the way Wade had acted in school, none would think he could do what Fury was saying and he was uneasy because he had witnessed first hand just how dangerous Wade is. He still felt shaken about his spider sense of all things being too slow to respond to Wade's attack.

"Gossiping? Fury I'm appalled!~" They turned towards the door as it opened fully to reveal...Deadpool in his uniform and Peter decided to look behind the other's head, glad that none could see his eyes under his mask.

Their costumes were annoyingly similar except Wade's looked like bright assassin's attire with the utility belt and handguns in holsters on each leg.

The uniform shaped his body almost too perfectly. The abs, the biceps, the thighs, his hips and ass. Damn he looked like he was Frank's build, obviously bigger than Peter and Peter felt himself blush under his mask because he just couldn't stop staring at Wade's hips. He thanked whatever deity up there for not making the guy come in shirtless because Peter wasn't sure he would've been able to take it.

Then he blinked once. Then twice, wondering if he was imagining what he was seeing.

There was one katana in each of Wade's hands but that wasn't what had Peter and the rest of his team on edge. There was blood dripping off them.

"Wade. How was the mission?" Peter nearly felt sick when he heard the Director ask the eighteen year old high school kid that question.

"Piece of cake!~ The guy had like sixty goons protecting his ass. Why didn't you tell me that part Fury? I got shot several times." Wade's weird voice got deeper as his eyes seemed to glare at Fury out of irritation. Peter wondered how he made his mask move like it was his actual face.

"You got shot?! Go to a doctor or something." Harry yelled, wondering if the guy was stupid or something.

Wade snorted. "Oh sweetheart. You most definitely haven't been in this business long enough. I don't need no doctor. Wade no like needles." He sniggered, enjoying the way that troll boy was looking so stupidly confused but stopped when he caught sight of Frank pointing two pistols at him. He pouted, wondering what he had done to piss off the guy this time.

He didn't so much as flinch when he felt bullets hit all over his torso, even posing a few times, though he was pushed into a wall from the force of all those bullets and slumped down the wall, leaving his blood against the surface.

"WHAT THE FUCK FRANK?!" It was probably the first time any of them had heard Matt and Gwen swear but they all were too shocked to care about that, except Fury who already understood what the older teen was doing.

"Damn. Whatever I did must've really pissed you off." They were surprised, if not a little terrified, to hear Wade's voice once again except for Frank who placed his guns back in their holsters.

"H-H-he's fucking immortal!" Harry yelled, completely stupefied. He as well as his teammates had thought that the rumors involving the Merc's healing abilities and possible immortality were nothing but rumors to make a guy seem worse than he probably is but seeing it for himself was a total mindfuck.

"I actually kind of am. What with being cursed by the almighty Thanos for having the heart of his forever one-sided crush." Peter blinked at that. Thanos? The mythological god? Really?! How could someone be stupid enough to anger someone like that?! It wasn't that hard to believe in gods' existences now with Thor and all but he felt like Thanos might be some major deal altogether.

Did he say he has the heart of Thanos' crush? Metaphorically or physically?

"Enough with the circus act Wade. Just do what I asked and you can go back to your quarters." Fury interrupted all of them, confusing Peter and his teammates as well as making Wade let out a long-suffering sigh.

"You know I might hurt them. Possibly maim them if I so much as get excited.~" Deadpool warned Fury with a sickly sweet voice but his tone was clipped.

Fury simply smiled at his direction. "You're already excited. Go easy on them for today. Simple basics."

"What's going on Fury?" Matt asked with his fingers against his head. Wade's emotions and actions are a little more than hectic on his mind. He still needed a few more years to have fully mastered his skills.

"I'm training you lovely set of freaks!~" With the way Wade said freaks, one would think it was a compliment.

"No." Elektra responded without skipping a beat.

"Not on your life." Harry joined in.

"I disagree wholeheartedly. What could you even train is to do? Without your super healing you're just some clown in a ripoff suit of Spider-man's." M.J. Always so harsh to the people she didn't like.

"Everything you know is everything I know. What could you even teach me?" Frank asked with a snort.

"I wouldn't be entirely comfortable with that arrangement. You're more than a little bit unhinged. Sorry but it's the truth." Gwen said with an indifferent shrug.

"I can barely stay in the same room with you when you're not doing anything. How could I possibly be taught by you?" Matt asked with a look of incredulity.

"The whole team is against it. We're strong on our own, you couldn't beat us all so what the hell makes you think you could teach us? Right Peter?" Harry said, arrogant and confident with folded arms as he waited for their level-headed leader to agree with them.

Peter kept quiet, watching Wade instead. The man simply rocked back and forth his heels while humming some messed up version of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star', not bothered by the insults being sent his way.

"Peter?" Gwen called out, confused on why Peter was being so uncharacteristically quiet and the intense way his focus was on the odd newcomer made her worry.

"We couldn't beat him." Peter's words made all of them startle and nearly choke on the disbelief.

"You don't believe in your own fucking team?!" Harry yelled, angry and hurt by his own best friend's lack of trust.

"I believe in every single one of you. I also believe that Wade, that Deadpooll, could kill all of us without breaking a sweat. Guys...he's faster than my Spider-sense." That had them listening. Even Frank was surprised. That Spider-sense had saved their lives so many times. For someone to be faster than it is just…

They all looked at Wade who was poking on Fury's eyepatch without a care in the world. Fury remained impassive even, though the way his visible eye was twitching let them know he was trying very hard to contain his anger and that's when it sunk in. Even Fury would try to avoid a fight with the eighteen year old psychopath.

"You guys done with your pep talk?~ Cause I am missing a whole re-run of The Golden Girls for this." Wade grumbled as he stepped away from Fury and sheathed his katana. Wade was not happy. He was living in a shoebox and had to wait even longer to let out his frustrations of being so close to his hero, seeing his glorious face and not being able to do a damn motherfucking thing.

"I'll buy the boxset as payment." Leave it to Nicky to sweeten the deal.

Wade beamed under his mask like he just got a puppy for Christmas .

The smoke dropped a margin, still visible but notably smaller as he regarded each and every one of his new 'recruits slash teammates'. He really didn't play well with others. For some reason, they ended up dead or slashed up by him. The occasional mistaken one-night stand as well.

 _I live a sad, lonely life. That I do._

 _[Yes. Yes you do. Pathetic too.]_

 **[Makes me want to cry. No possible way of finding love, hated by all, avoided by the many and causes more than half the crying babies in the world. Yep. Just end it all.]**

"Okay. I would if I could.~" Even at the thought of his own suicide, he smiled happily.

"He's talking to himself again." Harry whispered, getting on his hoverboard to avoid letting the weirdo notice his nervousness. After all that smack talk he refused to lose to him. It'd be too embarrassing if he did.

"Listen up young ones!~ I don't really know how to 'go easy' on targe-I mean people. Yep that's what I meant. People." Deadpool looked nervous and was rubbing the back of his head in a shy manner.

"He definitely almost called us targets." Matt muttered

"Yep." Frank agreed while Wade rambled on.

"So listen up. Three people here could possibly take me on. Frankie. Matt the mole and Spidey. The rest of you…mehn." Wade made a gesture with his hand as he looked at the girls and Harry, all of which growled at him. It was adorable. Like a baby chihuahua barking. Or dealing with three angry and naked Bobs. Oh yeah! Bob! His trusty HYDRA sidekick.

 _Wonder where I left him._

"I want all of you to come at me with the intent to kill. Imagine that I, I don't know, killed someone you love for money. Yeah that works. I could've too!~" So unashamed and it was disgusting to the team. Peter made a face of repulsion and Wade could feel it but it wasn't anything new.

"With pleasure." Elektra was the first to charge and Peter tried stopping her.

"Not yet!" He yelled but she had already brought out get weapons and attacked Wade.

The manic assassin dodged every single one of her fast and brutal attacks, even ruffling her hair while doing so. Wade saw potential but she easily got angry and that anger made her sloppy and so very easy to defeat.

He glanced at Matt who immediately felt his gaze and decided to see how angry she could get.

"Yes that's it. Ooo!~ So close. Close up I can see all your zits! Get that checked girl!~" Wade laughed when he saw her blush and get even angrier. He moved behind her and groped her breasts.

"Nice." Wade whispered into her ear with a low voice that sent shivers up her spine and she hated her teenage body for that. Despite how crazy he is or disgusting and uncaring of others he seemed to be, he had an attractive body and obviously knew how to charm.

That all increased her anger, the groping making it so much worse.

She roared and tried using her weapons to stab Wade in the leg but he was already gone from her back.

Nextbthing she knew she was being hit with barrages of punches and kicks, the only sound she could hear was Wade's amused chuckles and quiet comments that brought out more anger than she was sure she had.

"Y'know your little crush is going nowhere right sweetie?~ Mattie over there? Boy obviously lights a torch for big, scary and oh so ruggedly handsome. You know it, I know it, everyone that sees them knows it. You're. Just. Nothing." He was having fun. So much fun.

She grabbed his leg after it had sent another rib shaking kick to her torso and Wade regarded her with a raised eyebrow, interested in what would happen next.

"…Fuck you." She growled then finally, finally, stabbed him straight through the leg, puncturing the bone.

Wade regarded the wound with little interest, moving away from the panting and heavily bruised female to take it out and watch her as it healed in a matter of a minute.

"Anytime!~ Anywhere!~ I'm up for anything.~" Wade informed her with a playful wink.

Peter was speechless. None of them had ever seen Elektra taken down so easily, Peter even had problems with just sparring her and Deadpool was going easy. How could they cope if he was ever their enemy?

"Lesson number one kiddies!~" They looked up at the maniac who was lifting Elektra's exhausted body by her arm, roughly and uncaring.

"When facing an opponent stronger than you. You've got two options," He started off walking towards Peter, dragging his teammate like she was merely a sack of flou, eyes on Spider-man's mask.

"Come at that opponent all at once, weaken them then hit them with everything in you. Leave no room for openings." He told them with that chilling serious voice of his that worried them. It was that voice that let them know Wade wasn't messing around. It was that voice that signaled he was ready to kill.

"Then there's option two. Not many heroes get this one though. See it as cowardly, as shameful but really? When you obviously can't win and about to die? What use are you dead?" Wade scoffed just as he was in front of Peter, face to face and Peter, for some unholy reason, was blushing heavily. He wasn't sure but it was like those eyes hidden behind the mask were undressing him slowly.

Wade flung Elektra into Peter's arms, breaking whatever spell that had been cast on them and turned around, still talking.

"When facing a stronger opponent, as I said ever so dramatically, you have two options. Numero uno, jump at them all at once with a well analyzed plan and numero two!~ Run with your tails between your legs you fucking pussies!~" Wade turned to them with a booming laugh escaping his lips before he suddenly stopped and got in a fighting stance.

"Let's see how jumping in all at once goes for y'all first shall we?~ Eep! I'm having so much fun!"

* * *

 ** _I sincerely apologize for being gone for so long. A lot has happened._**

 ** _Anyways, here's an update!_**

 ** _Please review and tell me what you think! Lots of love to you all that actually like this!_**

 ** _Deadpool Fact: The first time that Deadpool met Spider-Man, he told him that he's Spider-Man from the future._**

 ** _Adios from,_**

 ** _Grimmjowislife._**


End file.
